Are parents allowed to search their child's room?

Many parents ask themselves whether they may search their child's room when they suspect cannabis. Whether and how far this is permitted depends on the individual case. A lawyer specialising in family law can classify it. This article explains what you should consider beforehand and how to prepare the conversation with your child.

A search is a serious step

Anyone who searches a room intrudes on the child's privacy. Young people often experience this as a breach of trust, even when parents act out of concern. That is exactly why the step should be well considered before it happens.

A search does not solve the actual problem. In the best case it shows what is there. Whether the child talks again afterwards depends above all on how the conversation that follows goes.

Which legal rules play a role

The Cannabis Act (KCanG) governs possession and use. From age 18, possession of cannabis is permitted within a limit of 25 grams (section 3 KCanG). For minors, possession is not permitted, because section 3 KCanG only applies from age 18. The ban on use in the immediate presence of persons under 18 is set out in section 5 KCanG. Supplying children and young people is punishable under section 34 KCanG.

Whether and to what extent parents may search their child's room is a separate question. The German Civil Code (BGB) gives parents the duty and the right to raise and supervise their child (section 1631(1) BGB). At the same time, the child has a right to an upbringing free from violence, corporal punishment, psychological injury and other degrading measures (section 1631(2) BGB). Where the line for a search lies in the individual case is for a lawyer specialising in family law to clarify.

Seek a conversation before a search

1. Name the specific concerns, such as changes at school or among friends.
2. Describe the reason without condemning the child.
3. Listen to the child and take their view seriously.
4. Agree together on how things should continue.
5. Get help if the conversation does not lead anywhere.

An open conversation is almost always the better first step. It shows the child that you take them seriously, and it gives them the chance to tell their side themselves.

If you have found something

A find does not automatically lead you to a decision. The BIÖG advises seeking an open conversation when cannabis-related items are found. Speak with your child before you act. What you find on your child is explained in more detail in What to do if you find cannabis on your child?.

If the find points to an acute emergency, for example if the child has taken medication or other substances, medical help is needed immediately. If the child is unconscious or has breathing problems, call 112. You do not wait for a conversation for this.

Getting legal advice

If you are unsure about rights and limits, a lawyer specialising in family law can help. Courts decide case by case, and a specialist lawyer can classify the situation. The parents' helpline of Nummer gegen Kummer also advises on steps for conversations.

Prevention at home

The BIÖG recommends agreeing on goals together and recording them in writing. Rules agreed openly are more comprehensible to young people than secret monitoring. Parents can decide together when going out is allowed, who the child knows and how to get in touch when something goes wrong. Such agreements provide support and make help easier to reach.

Alternatives to a search

Before parents search a room, milder means are worthwhile. A clear conversation, an agreed rule or advice can clarify the situation. Anyone who openly says they are worried often creates more transparency than a secret search. Then the focus is on the next steps you take together.

An addiction advice centre can also help you prepare the conversation. In Lower Saxony, advice from the state office for addiction issues is free of charge and anonymous on request.

What a conversation after a find can achieve

1. Stay calm and do not judge the find straight away.
2. Ask the child what they think about it, and listen.
3. Reach a concrete agreement, for example about times and contact.
4. Set a follow-up appointment so that the topic does not fade away.

Such a conversation shows the child that parents take responsibility and still listen.

Assessing your own situation

If parents are unsure whether their suspicion is justified, an honest review helps. What has changed, since when, and how does the child react to questions? Such notes make the conversation with an advice service more concrete and make your own decision easier.

Where you can turn

You can reach the parents' helpline on 0800 111 0 550. The Sucht & Drogen Hotline can be reached on 01806 313031. Also helpful are the article How do parents raise the topic of cannabis properly? and Which rules make sense for families where cannabis is involved?. What parents may legally do about their child's use is explained in the article on parents' rights.