What role does the family play in quitting?

The family can achieve a great deal when it comes to quitting cannabis, because it helps carry everyday life, conversations and trust. It does not, however, replace treatment or counselling. Support works best when the family helps without controlling and at the same time keeps its own boundaries. This article shows how that works.

Where the family can help

Family members are often the first to notice changes. They can raise what they observe, and they can accompany the process in practical ways.

• Hold conversations driven by worry and free of reproaches
• Help organise appointments with counselling services or doctors
• Plan time together without cannabis, for example meals or outings
• Address relapses without punishing them
• Agree on everyday rules that apply to everyone

Agreements in particular help. They make clear what is expected and prevent misunderstandings. These include, for example, rules for the shared household. The article What rules help when dealing with cannabis at home? describes what such rules can look like.

Where the family's limits lie

Family members and relatives should not become the therapist. Anyone who constantly controls, searches rooms or judges every step can add pressure and damage trust.

Feelings of guilt are also common. Many relatives ask themselves what they did wrong. That is understandable, but it rarely helps. Quitting is a decision and a process of its own, and the family carries only part of the responsibility for it. The article Am I to blame as a parent for my child's cannabis use? goes into this in more detail.

Family conversations with counselling

A family conversation at an addiction counselling service helps when positions have hardened. Ask there whether a service offers family conversations, and how. It is also a place to clarify which expectations are realistic.

Beforehand, a list of points that matter to you helps. Note what you wish from the family, what you cannot manage and which rules you want to keep. More on preparation is in the article "How can a family conversation with counselling help?"

Keeping your own boundaries

Anyone supporting a relative also needs relief themselves. Withdrawing when the strain becomes too great is understandable. It protects your own health and with it your ability to keep helping. The article How do I look after myself as a mother or father? shows how to approach this in practice.

Relatives can also seek counselling for themselves. DigiSucht has a page of its own for relatives, and you can find addiction counselling services in your region through the DHS Suchthilfeverzeichnis (addiction help directory).

When quitting stalls

Sometimes use continues despite all the support. Then it is worth checking together whether a more intensive form of help makes sense. That can be rehabilitation or outpatient treatment. The article Is outpatient treatment possible for cannabis dependence? describes which steps are possible.

If violence, threats or acute danger are involved, act immediately. In acute emergencies, call 112.

Siblings and other family members

Several people are affected, including siblings, grandparents and partners. Each person has their own role. It helps when the family coordinates and does not work against each other. The article What to do when a brother or sister uses cannabis? describes what this can look like for siblings.

Anyone bringing the family together should not force anyone to accept blame. What matters is that everyone knows who takes on which support.

Children in the household

When children live in the household, special rules apply. Using cannabis in the direct presence of people under 18 is prohibited under section 5(1) of the Cannabis Act (KCanG). Also make sure that cannabis is not accessible to children. The article What rules help when dealing with cannabis at home? describes helpful rules for the home.

Setting boundaries together

Family boundaries are concrete agreements: who takes on which task, when there is time for conversations, and what happens when a rule is broken. Set them together and write them down. Only announce consequences that you can actually carry out. Counselling can help you formulate realistic boundaries.

How the family handles setbacks

Relapses are part of the path for many people. What matters is how the family responds. Staying calm, offering conversation and not taking on responsibility that is not your own can protect the relationship. Agree in advance how you will discuss a relapse, so that it does not have to be negotiated anew each time.

Balancing family and everyday life

When work, children and support all come together, it helps to share out concrete tasks: who drives to appointments, who does the shopping, who takes care of conversations? A short list brings clarity, and nobody carries everything alone. Relatives should not cancel their own breaks, even when everyday life is full.

When family counselling makes sense

Family counselling is worthwhile when conversations constantly escalate or when children in the household are affected. There, roles can be clarified. You can find the addiction counselling service closest to you through the DHS Suchthilfeverzeichnis.

What you can do now

1. Talk with your family about which support is helpful and which is not.
2. Agree together on two or three rules that apply to everyone.
3. Find a counselling service that offers family conversations.
4. Pay attention to your own limits and seek counselling for yourself.

An overview of help and counselling is available under Help and counselling. Offers for relatives are also described in the article Where can relatives get counselling about cannabis use?.