How can you tell puberty from cannabis problems?

Withdrawal, bad moods and arguments are often part of puberty. Cannabis can show similar signs. Parents find it hard to tell the two apart in everyday life. A close look at patterns, duration and consequences is therefore worthwhile. This article shows what you can pay attention to and when counselling makes sense.

What belongs to puberty

Teenagers seek distance, test rules and spend more time with friends. This is typical for their development and no proof of use. Mood swings and the wish for privacy are also common. It becomes difficult when several changes occur at the same time and last for a long time.

A simple comparison helps: what was normal half a year ago, and what is different today? Writing this down makes changes clearer than going by feeling alone.

When a pattern stands out

1. School performance drops significantly or absences pile up.
2. Hobbies and arrangements are suddenly given up.
3. The circle of friends changes, and new contacts remain unknown.
4. Tasks are often forgotten and homework is left undone.
5. Behaviour becomes restless, or there is trouble with family and friends.
6. Anger, irritability or marked withdrawal persist for weeks.
7. Excuses and lies pile up.

This list follows the typical signs that the BIÖG names for addiction problems. The BIÖG itself notes that bad mood and lack of interest in school do not automatically mean that someone is smoking cannabis. A single sign is not enough for an interpretation. Several signs over a longer period are a reason to seek a conversation.

What experts use as a guideline

According to drugcom, dependence is present when at least two criteria apply within 12 months. According to this source, problematic use usually begins earlier than dependence. The negative consequences of use are also decisive, while the amount is not decisive on its own. According to drugcom, frequency and amount also play no decisive role in the question of dependence.

These indications help classify the situation. They do not replace a diagnosis. That requires a conversation with specialists.

A conversation about observations

You do not have to diagnose anything. Describe what you see and ask what lies behind it. Sentences such as “I notice that you've been sleeping less for weeks” are more likely to open a door than accusations such as “You're smoking again.” Avoid blame and leave your child room to answer.

If your child does not want to talk, that is not a failure. Stay approachable and say that you are worried. An offer of a conversation at a later time is often a better way than an interrogation.

When help makes sense

If school, friendships or health clearly suffer, counselling makes sense. The family doctor or the child and adolescent doctor can give a first assessment. The Elterntelefon of Nummer gegen Kummer also advises parents when they are unsure whether there is a problem at all.

In case of signs of acute danger, for example in an emergency, the situation belongs immediately in medical hands. Do not wait in such cases.

Having the conversation without diagnosing

If there is a suspicion, a calm setting helps. Choose a moment without time pressure and without an audience. Start with an observation and leave the assumption aside. Ask for your child's view and listen before you draw conclusions.

If your child blocks you, this is often a reaction to pressure. Let the conversation end calmly and offer a new appointment. That way contact is maintained, even if the first conversation achieves little.

Recognising your own limits

In puberty, parents quickly reach their limits. Anyone who constantly controls or constantly stays silent loses strength. It helps to ask yourself whether you are currently reacting calmly or irritably. A break, a conversation with your partner or counselling can relieve your own situation.

Teachers and trusted people can also support parents. If you receive information from school, take it seriously without judging straight away.

Support from specialists

1. Ask the family doctor or the child and adolescent doctor for an assessment.
2. Request an addiction counselling service when use is a possibility.
3. Use the Elterntelefon to discuss the situation in advance.

Parents make the decision on the next step together with specialists. Nobody has to carry this alone.

Where you can turn

You can reach the Elterntelefon on 0800 111 0 550. The Sucht & Drogen Hotline is available around the clock on 01806 313031 (charged). An overview of typical signs is given in the article on signs by which parents can recognise cannabis use. The connection with school performance is explained in the article on poor grades as a warning sign. When use counts as problematic is shown in the article on problematic use.