What does a new circle of friends mean when cannabis is used?

A new circle of friends is not proof of cannabis use on its own. Friendships change during adolescence, and that alone is no cause for alarm. It becomes a signal, however, when it appears together with withdrawal, new secrets or noticeable consequences in everyday life.

Why the circle of friends seems so important

Friends are a central point of reference for young people. When this circle changes, parents quickly start wondering what lies behind it. Often the reason is harmless: a new sports club, a class with a different mix of pupils, or simply someone the child gets along with better. The question of whether cannabis plays a role is still legitimate, but it needs a factual answer.

What research says about the role of friends

According to drugcom, the simple claim that cannabis leads to other drugs as a gateway drug is now considered disproven. Drug initiation cannot be reduced to the influence of a single substance. The BIÖG names several possible reasons why young people use cannabis, including a circle of friends in which drugs are also used, problems at school or in training, and conflict within the family.

According to drugcom, a twin study on early cannabis use took family circumstances into account but did not take friendship groups into account. It therefore remains open what is cause and what is effect. For you as a mother or father, this means that a new circle of friends can be a hint, but it proves nothing. You need more information before you judge.

When the circle of friends becomes a warning sign

A warning sign tends to emerge from several changes happening together. These patterns are revealing:

• Your child withdraws from family and old friends and hardly talks about the new circle.
• There is frequent secrecy about meetings, places or messages.
• School, sport or hobbies are being neglected.
• There are new mood swings, money problems or sleep problems.

According to drugcom, the decisive question is whether use has negative consequences. The amount or frequency alone says less. A dependence exists according to drugcom when at least two of several features apply within 12 months. According to the same source, problematic use usually begins earlier, before dependence develops.

The legal framework around friends

Some legal points are important for conversations with your child and their friends. The Cannabis Act (KCanG) prohibits public cannabis use in schools, on children's playgrounds, in child and youth facilities, and in publicly accessible sports facilities, each also within sight of them (section 5(2) KCanG). According to the law, a place is no longer within sight at a distance of more than 100 metres from the entrance area.

Anyone who hands over or passes on cannabis to minors commits a criminal offence. Passing it on to a child or young person by a person over 21 is generally treated as a particularly serious case (section 34(3) KCanG). The penalty is then imprisonment of three months to five years. So if your child tells you that older friends are handing out cannabis, you should take that seriously. More on this is explained in the article Who commits an offence by giving cannabis to minors?

Talking about new friends

A conversation works best when you ask questions and let your child talk. Dismissive remarks about the new circle often lead the child to defend the friends and share less. Useful questions are, for example:

• What do you do with your new friends when you get together?
• What do you like about them, and what don't you like?
• Are there situations in which you feel uncomfortable?

Blanket bans are hard to enforce and quickly lead to conflict. Clear agreements on times, places and contact are usually more effective. Invite the new friends to your home now and then so you get to know them. That gives you a more realistic picture than rumours from the family group chat.

When you should seek advice

If withdrawal increases, if money goes missing or if use becomes obvious, it makes sense to get help. The parents' helpline of Nummer gegen Kummer can be reached on 0800 111 0 550. The Sucht & Drogen Hotline has the number 01806 313031. On the question of how circles of friends affect one's own use, the guide also offers the article How does the circle of friends affect one's own use?

Hobbies and everyday life as a counterweight

Someone who withdraws often also loses their daily structure. Shared activities unrelated to cannabis can help here. Sport has been studied in people who want to stop using cannabis: a study with 79 participants, 37 of whom used cannabis weekly, found clearly better brain performance over three weeks among those who did sport. At this size the study is fairly small, so the result should be read as an indication.

For everyday life this means: offer fixed appointments, for example a sports course, a training session or a joint bike ride. Fixed appointments provide structure without the child feeling interrogated.

What you can do now

1. Watch whether the change coincides with other warning signs.
2. Ask questions about the circle of friends before drawing conclusions.
3. Agree on clear rules about times, places and being reachable.
4. Invite new friends to your home and get to know them.
5. Seek advice if you are unsure or if consequences become visible in everyday life.

A new circle of friends is an opportunity to stay in touch and show trust. How you place the topic in the overall picture is shown in the overview Prevention and youth protection.