How can self-esteem and leisure time protect teens?
Self-esteem and leisure time that the young person enjoys are considered important pillars in adolescence. Parents can support both without constantly controlling. This article explains how that works in everyday life and puts into context what studies show about exercise and brain performance. It also shows where the limits of these findings lie.
What self-esteem means in adolescence
Self-esteem is the feeling of being able to do things and of belonging. Teens experience it at school, in sport, in music or in their circle of friends. Anyone who feels competent in one area has a place where they experience success. That is a good starting point for conversations about other areas. According to BIÖG, possible reasons why teens use cannabis include being overwhelmed at school or in training, conflict in the circle of friends or at home, and psychological strain. Those who notice such strain early can offer support.
Self-esteem grows through successes the child has earned on their own. Praise for effort can seem more credible than praise for the result alone. Treating mistakes as part of learning gives the child room to try new things.
Leisure time that suits the child
Leisure time is good for a child when they enjoy it. A sports club, a band, a youth centre or a group of peers can provide that. Parents help with trying things out, cover the membership fees and show interest in the activity. It matters that the child helps decide what they do. Among the factors that increase health risks, the BIÖG names cannabis use that takes up more and more space in free time, so that hobbies and friendships are neglected, and cannabis use that is meant to help with bad feelings such as anxiety or anger.
A small study gives one hint at why exercise is of interest to people who want to quit. It included 79 participants, 37 of whom used cannabis weekly, and ran for three weeks. According to drugcom, users who were physically active showed clearly better brain performance than users who did no sport. The study is small and shows no effect in everyday life. It does, however, give a reason to build exercise into plans to quit.
The relationship as a support
A child who feels understood is more likely to talk about problems. That works best when parents listen before they judge. Parents who know the circle of friends also know which topics are currently important. Time together without a phone creates room for this.
Parents can introduce small rituals, such as a weekly meal or a walk. Such moments make it easier to raise difficult topics without it sounding like an interrogation.
Keeping an eye on warning signs
If interest in leisure activities falls away, grades drop and friendships change, a conversation is worthwhile. That is no proof of cannabis use, but it is a reason to look more closely. Cannabis can impair concentration and memory, and problems at school can get worse. The effect depends on amount, frequency and age, and the risks are particularly high for young people.
Four everyday tips for families
- Plan time together without phones as a fixed routine.
- Name successes as well as mistakes.
- Get to know the circle of friends without judging it.
- Support hobbies that the child has chosen for themselves.
Prevention here means strengthening the spaces in which young people live. This goes beyond bans and starts in everyday life.
Setting limits and combining them with warmth
Self-esteem also grows where boundaries are clear. Teens need rules that apply reliably and are explained to them. Consequences should be announced in advance and enforced in everyday life. Warmth and rules do not rule each other out.
Parents can discuss rules with the child. Those who have a say in setting them are more likely to keep to the agreement. Responsibility remains with the parents. This balance does not always succeed in everyday life, and that is normal.
Friends and community
Friendships are central for teens. Parents can support them by getting to know their friends and by hosting meetups. It helps to state openly which rules apply to parties and sleepovers.
Community also arises in clubs, music groups or youth centres. There, teens experience being needed, and that strengthens their self-confidence. Parents can help with the search without making the choice for them.
Making good moments deliberate
- Do something together once a week that matters to the child.
- After successes, ask specifically: what did you like about it?
- Address mistakes with one sentence that looks ahead.
- Plan the next steps together.
Habits like these seem unremarkable, but they make conversations easier when things become difficult later.
Where you can turn for help
The Elterntelefon (parent phone line) of Nummer gegen Kummer can be reached on 0800 111 0 550. For questions about addiction and drugs, the Sucht & Drogen Hotline helps on 01806 313031. Calls to this number are charged.
The article on the question of sensible family rules helps you prepare shared agreements. More on support over a longer period is in the article on support over a longer time.Frequently asked questions
How can parents strengthen a teenager's self-esteem?
Self-esteem grows through successes the child has earned on their own. Parents praise effort, name successes and let the child decide which leisure activities they do. Time together without a phone creates room for conversations that build trust.