Is there anonymous counselling for relatives?

Yes, there is anonymous counselling for relatives. The online counselling platform DigiSucht describes its counselling for relatives as anonymous and free of charge. The Elterntelefon (parents' helpline) of the Nummer gegen Kummer is available for acute problems and questions. This guide explains what anonymous means in counselling, which services exist and where the limits lie.

What anonymity means in counselling

Being counselled anonymously means that you do not have to give your name to hold a conversation. You can talk about your situation without your identity being the focus. Who you are then stays unknown.

Each service decides for itself how data is stored and processed. Read the privacy policy and the notes on confidentiality before you write down personal details. The DigiSucht platform refers to a separate privacy page for this.

The services at a glance

There are several ways for relatives to seek advice anonymously. Which one you choose depends on whether you want to write, phone or speak in person.

• DigiSucht: professional addiction counselling for relatives through the platform, anonymous and free of charge.
• Elterntelefon of the Nummer gegen Kummer: for acute problems and questions from parents, free of charge. The number is 0800 111 0 550. Check the opening times in advance.
• Addiction counselling centres locally: according to the DHS, these are also the right contact for relatives. Ask on the phone whether a first conversation can be anonymous.
• mindzone: online drug counselling which, according to its own information, is anonymous and free of charge and is also aimed at relatives. Giving an email address is not required, and enquiries should be answered within two working days.
• Self-help groups: the DHS names self-help groups for relatives, online and in person, and describes taking part as free of charge.

The DHS addiction help directory (Suchthilfeverzeichnis) shows contact details and areas of focus for around 2,100 services. Ask the service whether a first conversation there can be anonymous.

Confidentiality and its limits

The DHS describes all conversations in addiction counselling centres as strictly confidential. Nevertheless, ask in advance in which cases a service may pass on information, for example if someone is in acute danger. Anonymous online counselling follows its own rules, which are set out in the data protection notices.

When anonymous counselling is not enough

Anonymous counselling does not replace emergency help. If a person is unconscious, has a seizure, harms themselves or is in acute danger, call the emergency number 112. Even if you are unsure whether it is an emergency, it is worth making the call. The guide When should parents get help immediately? shows the warning signs.

Also for problems that last longer, for example when your partner or child has changed over several months, a single anonymous conversation is often not enough. In that case, arrange a regular appointment at a local counselling centre or stay in touch with the online counselling.

What to clarify before the first contact

A first contact is easier when you know what to expect. Think of two or three points you want to discuss and note the most important observations. You do not have to tell the whole story. A sentence such as “I am worried about my daughter and want to know how to act” is enough to start.

Also ask how the counselling works, how long it lasts and whether there are follow-up appointments. A reputable service explains how it works and takes your questions seriously. More on this in the guide How do I recognise a reputable counselling service?.

What anonymity does not replace

Anonymous counselling remains a conversation with a person. It replaces neither exchange with people in your environment nor a medical check-up if you have health complaints yourself. Your family doctor is also someone you can approach if you are worried, even if the affected person does not know about it yet. The guide When should you talk to your family doctor about cannabis? shows when this route makes sense.

Anonymity protects your identity in the conversation. It does not, however, protect you from your own feelings. For that reason it can help to talk to someone you trust after the conversation, or to attend a group for relatives. A local service can give you names for this.

What to clarify before anonymous counselling

Ask in advance which details the service needs for a first conversation and whether you can leave out information. Also find out whether conversations are recorded or noted, and how long notes are kept. Such questions are common and show that you take your privacy seriously.

Notes for relatives with children

If children live in the household, keep their needs in view as well. Anonymous counselling for yourself helps you sort out your own strain. It does not, however, replace support for the children. The guide How do I help children from families affected by addiction? shows which steps relieve everyday life.

What you can do now

1. Look at the DigiSucht platform's offer for relatives and check its privacy notices.
2. Note the parents' helpline number 0800 111 0 550 and check the opening times before you call.
3. Use the DHS addiction help directory to find a service with an offer for relatives.
4. Keep the emergency number 112 ready for acute danger.
5. Arrange a follow-up appointment after the first contact if you need more support.