How does addiction counselling help parents?

Parents can turn to addiction counselling services when they have questions about their child's cannabis use. The situation is discussed there, and you work out together which steps fit. Counselling helps you put the situation into perspective. Which services are available exactly depends on where you live and which service you choose.

Which services are open to parents

Several routes are open to you. They differ in format, availability and anonymity:

• DigiSucht: digital, free and anonymous addiction counselling for affected adults, relatives and parents (suchtberatung.digital).
• Elterntelefon (parents' helpline) of the Nummer gegen Kummer: 0800 111 0 550.
• BIÖG information line on addiction prevention: 0221 89 20 31, Monday to Thursday from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. and Friday to Sunday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. (according to the BIÖG).
• Sucht & Drogen Hotline: 01806 313031, 20 cents per call according to the federal drug commissioner, also available to relatives.
• Local counselling service: the DHS addiction help directory lists facilities. You can search by postcode or town and set a search radius.

If you prefer writing, an online service suits you. If you want to talk in person, look for a service nearby. The article Where can parents get counselling about cannabis? compares the routes again.

What parents can expect in the conversation

The conversation is meant to help you, without reproaches. The specialist asks what you have observed, how long it has been going on and what you have tried so far. Often it becomes clear in the first conversation whether counselling alone is enough for you or whether your child also needs support.

You can also ask for advice without your child. Many parents come first on their own to find their bearings. Ask the counselling service directly whether an appointment in person without your child is possible.

How the first contact can look

Before you call or write, it is worth noting your observations. Write down what you have noticed, how long it has been going on and what your child has said about it. You do not need to know everything to start a conversation.

In the first conversation, you can ask which other services could be suitable for your child. How this works in each service you will learn directly from them. An overview of telephone and chat services can be found in the article Where can I find telephone counselling about cannabis?

Preparing the conversation with your child

Many parents wonder how to raise the subject without the conversation ending in an argument. A quiet moment without time pressure helps. Talk about what you have observed, and name any suspicions as suspicions. For example, say that you are worried because something in daily life has changed, and then listen.

The article How do I talk to my child about cannabis? gives examples. It is important that your child feels they can talk to you, even if you do not approve of everything.

Legal limits for minors

Special rules apply to children and young people. Possessing cannabis is only permitted from the age of 18 under the Cannabis Act (KCanG). Using cannabis in the immediate presence of minors is prohibited. Anyone who passes cannabis on to a child or young person commits a criminal offence, and in particularly serious cases heavy penalties apply. The article What rights and duties do parents have regarding cannabis and minors? explains this in more detail.

When parents should not wait

If your child is endangering themselves, or you feel you are in danger, call the emergency number 112. In such moments, a counselling conversation does not replace immediate help. Further information on crises can be found in the article When should parents get help immediately?

Prevention in the family

According to cannabispraevention.de, parents should first reflect on their own attitude to cannabis and their own behaviour. This helps you stay calm when the conversation becomes difficult. Be prepared for statements such as “cannabis is harmless”. The site explains why cannabis is particularly risky for young people.

For young people, the developing brain is in an important phase. According to drugcom, early use can lastingly impair cognitive performance. This is a good reason to raise use early.

You do not have to carry this alone

Many parents feel alone with the situation. Guilt, shame and fear are often part of it. Counselling can help you sort through these feelings and clarify your own role. Self-help groups for parents also often take some of the pressure out of everyday life. More on this is in the article Is there self-help for parents of people with addiction?

When the child refuses to talk

Sometimes children shut down every conversation. Then it helps not to press for a confession. Leave the conversation open, and think with the counselling service about which tone fits in everyday life. Often it is enough to show your child that you are there, without having to answer every question straight away.

What you can do now

• Write down your observations before you get in touch.
• Use DigiSucht, the Elterntelefon or the information line if you are unsure where to start.
• Search the DHS addiction help directory for a local service if you would like a personal conversation.
• Read on in the article What should parents do first if they suspect cannabis use?