How do I prepare for my first counselling session?

Anyone who wants to prepare for a first counselling session mainly needs three things: a clear concern, honest notes on their own use and a short list of questions. Preparation usually takes little time, yet it makes the session considerably more productive. Anyone who knows what they want to achieve reaches a next step more quickly.

What the first session should achieve

The first contact is not a test. The specialist wants to understand how you use cannabis, what brings you to counselling and which help would be useful to you. By the end it should be clear how things continue, for example with another appointment or a referral to a different service.

Many people arrive feeling they have to justify themselves. You do not have to justify yourself. You may say what bothers you and what you want, even if you are not yet sure.

Step 1: note your concern in one sentence

Write down what brings you to counselling. One sentence is enough. For example: "I want to cut down on cannabis and don't know how to manage it." Or: "My partner uses cannabis, and I can't cope with it." The sentence helps you stay on topic in the session when nerves rise.

If you are unsure whether you want to stop at all, that is not an obstacle. The article Do I have to want to stop before going to counselling? answers exactly this question.

Step 2: note your use honestly

An overview of the last two to four weeks helps most. Note on which days you used, in which situations and what happened afterwards. Feelings matter too. Were you irritable, tired or calm? For counselling, how often you use matters more than an exact figure.

If you would like to try keeping such a list, the article Does a use diary help when quitting cannabis? offers a starting point.

Step 3: prepare questions

Write down three to five questions. Otherwise you often cannot recall anything in the session. These questions are a good starting point:

• How does counselling work, and how many appointments are usual?
• Who is responsible for my situation, and to whom can I be referred?
• What happens to my information, and who finds out about it?
• Which options are there if I want to stop myself?
• Is there help if I am worried about another person?

Documents and information

For a first session, no paperwork is usually needed, unless the service asks for something else. Bring medical reports if health complaints are part of your concern. Do not hand over anything you do not want to share. You decide for yourself how much you tell.

Anonymous or with your name?

This depends on the service. The online counselling from mindzone is described as confidential. It is also described as anonymous and free of charge, and no email address is required there. According to the platform, DigiSucht counselling can be anonymous on request. On site, it is best to ask by phone how the service handles data. More on this topic is in the article Is what I say in addiction counselling confidential?.

Common mistakes before the first session

• You wait until the situation escalates, and arrive in crisis mode.
• You want to settle everything in a single conversation.
• You prepare a defence speech and forget your own questions.

One appointment is a start. Counselling builds on several conversations, and it is fine if not everything is settled the first time.

Finding a service and arranging an appointment

Finding a suitable service is often the first practical step. The DHS addiction help directory can be filtered by postcode or place, radius, federal state, topic, type of service, language and target group. One postcode is enough to start. The entries are based on information provided by the services themselves, so a short call before you go there is worthwhile. The article Where can I find an addiction counselling service for cannabis? explains how to find a service near you.

If you are asking on behalf of someone else

Some people call because they are worried about someone else. That is also a good reason for a first conversation. Then note what you observe, and separate observations from assumptions. The specialist can help you clarify your own role. Further information is in the article Where can relatives get counselling about cannabis use?.

Prevention starts with your own view

Prevention does not mean acting only once things escalate. If you notice that cannabis is weighing on school, work or friendships, it is wise to seek a conversation early. Preparing for the conversation is already a step in this direction.

After the conversation

Note straight after the session what was discussed and which steps were agreed. If you need an email or a callback, ask for it explicitly. At mindzone you can also send general questions by email. After one to two weeks, check whether the agreed step has worked, and raise it at the next appointment.

What you can do now

1. Write in one sentence what brings you to counselling.
2. Note your use over the last two to four weeks.
3. Find a service through the DHS addiction help directory or an online counselling service.
4. Prepare three to five questions and take the note with you.

If you need someone to talk to beforehand, the Sucht & Drogen Hotline is available on 01806 313031; opening times and costs are listed at sucht-und-drogen-hotline.de. In case of acute danger to yourself or others, call the emergency number 112.