When should parents involve the Jugendamt?

For most parents, specialist counselling is the first step when they are worried about cannabis. It classifies the situation and shows which bodies can help, including the Jugendamt. You need to act faster if there is an acute danger, for example through violence, threats or a suspicion that cannabis is being passed on to your child. If young people under 18 are caught using cannabis, parents are informed in every case according to Cannabisprävention des Bundes, and under certain circumstances the local youth welfare service may be brought in.

Why the decision is often hard

Many parents hesitate because they fear losing the child's trust or setting off a process they cannot oversee. This hesitation is understandable. It helps, however, to split the question into two parts: do I need support for myself and my child, and do I need a body that takes on responsibility? The second part is best answered with specialist help.

Clarify the situation first

Before you involve an authority, it helps to describe the situation factually. Ask yourself:

1. What exactly am I observing? Use, withdrawal, money problems, declining performance or something else?
2. Since when has this been the case, and is it getting worse over time?
3. Are there signs of danger to the child or to others, for example through use in road traffic or through violence?
4. Has the child itself already asked for help or voiced worries?
5. Which conversations and help have you already tried?

A list of these points, with dates, is valuable for any counselling. It also forces you to distinguish between observation and suspicion.

When you should not wait

Some situations require faster action. These include acute danger to life and limb, threats, violence in the family or a state in which your child cannot be reached. In an acute situation the rule is: dial the emergency number and do not sit it out alone.

The suspicion that someone is giving your child cannabis must also be taken seriously. The law punishes passing cannabis on to minors. For a person over 21, a particularly serious case is generally present, with a prison sentence of three months to five years (section 34(3) of the Cannabis Act (KCanG)). In this case, speak with a counselling centre promptly about how to pass on the information.

What you can clarify before a conversation

If you decide to seek support, this preparation helps:

• A short text with the most important observations, factual and without accusations.
• The list of conversations and help tried so far, even if they had no effect.
• An answer to what you would wish as a result: less use, more conversation, an appointment at a specialist service.
• A look at who else in the family is affected, for example a sibling.

Involving the child

Your child should know that you are getting help, and ideally you should tell it yourself. Whoever acts behind the child's back risks its trust. Say honestly why you are worried and what should happen next. This does not mean you have to agree every decision with the child. It means that it knows the reasons.

If your child then reproaches you, that is painful, but it is no sign that you are wrong. Stay calm, say that you take it seriously, and keep the contact open.

Where to call first

For a first assessment, the Elterntelefon of Nummer gegen Kummer is suitable. It can be reached on 0800 111 0 550, is anonymous and free of charge, and is aimed at parents who are worried about their children. For questions on addiction and drugs, the Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031 also helps; it charges a fee. The BIÖG pages also offer further information on counselling services for parents. A local addiction counselling centre can assess the situation together with you and show the way to the right service.

What counselling can do for you

Counselling listens to you, classifies your observations and shows paths you cannot see yourself. It can help you decide whether to have a conversation with the child first, whether a specialist service should be brought in, or whether further bodies are needed.

You do not have to commit to anything in counselling. You can ask openly which steps make sense in your situation, how long they can take and what rights you have as a parent. Write the answers down so that you can read them again later.

What you can do now

1. Write down your observations with dates.
2. Call a counselling service first to classify the situation.
3. Talk openly with your child about the fact that you are getting help.
4. Decide only after counselling whether further bodies are needed.
5. In case of acute danger, dial the emergency number immediately.

Further information on rights and duties is in the area Youth protection. Anyone who wants to know how the conversation itself succeeds can read the article Why does listening help more than confrontation?