What to do after a relapse with cannabis?
A relapse means that after a phase without cannabis, or with clearly less use, you are using regularly again or more than you planned. That is frustrating, but no reason to give up. What matters is what you do next. Anyone who looks at the relapse honestly and chooses a small next step stays in the process and can continue it well.
Why relapses happen so often
Habits do not disappear overnight. For many people, cannabis is linked to routines, such as the end of the working day, gaming in the evening or meeting friends. Such situations can reawaken the old impulse.
Shame after a relapse can lead people to avoid conversations and help services. A relapse says little about your ability to change your use. It shows more clearly which situations are especially difficult.
Looking honestly at the situation
A short analysis without blame helps. Note what happened immediately before the use. Ask yourself where you were, who you were with, how you felt and what you hoped to get from it. Often a recurring pattern shows up after just a few notes.
- Place: Are there places where you almost automatically use?
- People: Do you relapse in certain company?
- Feelings: Does the relapse happen at the end of a stressful day or during a crisis?
- Timing: Does it happen more often at weekends, after work or late at night?
The article What can I do if I use cannabis because of stress? looks at one of the most common triggers in more detail.
Keeping the next step small
After a relapse, the view often lands on the whole path that still lies ahead. That is overwhelming. A more helpful question is one you can answer today: what is the next small step? It might be planning one day without use, removing the cannabis from sight, or informing a person you trust.
The environment also plays a role. If friends keep using cannabis, it can help to say beforehand what you intend to do. The article How do I deal with friends who keep using cannabis? shows ways to put this into practice in everyday life.
When to seek counselling
Counselling is worthwhile as soon as use becomes regular again, you lose track, or relapses pile up. A conversation is also worthwhile if you feel overwhelmed or do not know how things should continue. The specialists do not have to judge you. Their task is to develop a realistic plan with you.
If you have already been in counselling, getting in touch again is no admission of failure. Many people come several times. Anyone who starts again simply explains what has happened. The article Where can I find an addiction counselling centre for cannabis? explains how to find a suitable service.
Online offers as an interim step
Sometimes a counselling centre cannot be reached straight away. Online offers can be an interim solution. Quit the Shit works for four weeks with a consumption diary and weekly personal feedback, and according to the programme page, taking part is free and anonymous. DigiSucht is, according to the provider, free of charge and anonymous on request. For a phone call, the Sucht & Drogen Hotline is available on 01806 313031 and, according to the federal drug commissioner, costs 20 cents per call. More about the programme is in the article How does the Quit the Shit online programme work?
Typical thinking traps after a relapse
All-or-nothing thinking is one of the most common traps. The thought goes: if I have already used, I may as well carry on. This conclusion often costs more than the relapse itself. The plan is then thrown overboard, even though only one stage was affected.
Another trap is persistent self-blame. Anyone who accuses themselves for days of having failed has little strength left for the next step. It is more helpful to ask what you want to do differently next time. This question looks forward and leaves room for concrete plans.
Comparing yourself with earlier phases can also be discouraging. Anyone who only measures themselves by the fact that things were easier before overlooks what they have learned since. You now know more precisely which situations are difficult and can prepare more specifically. That is an advantage you did not have at the first attempt.
What you can do now
- Write down what came before the relapse, without judging yourself for it.
- Set one single next step that you can carry out in the coming days.
- Speak to a person who supports you, or contact a counselling centre.
- If you have withdrawal complaints, panic or thoughts of self-harm, contact a doctor or the emergency number.
A relapse is information and does not amount to a verdict. Anyone who uses it to adjust the plan usually gets further than someone who gives up the whole attempt. More guidance is available in the section Help and counselling.
Frequently asked questions
Does a relapse with cannabis mean that quitting has failed?
No. A relapse can happen. It mainly shows which situations are difficult. What matters is what happens afterwards: whether you analyse the situation, plan a small step and get support where needed.
How do I explain a relapse to a counselling centre?
You do not need to prepare anything special. Tell them when use started again, how often it happened and what helped or harmed you. Your own notes from the diary make the conversation easier. The specialists will ask if something stays unclear.
When should I get help straight away after a relapse?
You need immediate help with severe physical complaints, confusion, panic or thoughts of self-harm. Then dial the emergency number 112 or go to an emergency department. For less acute concerns, a counselling centre is the right point of contact.