How do I deal with feelings of guilt about cannabis use?
Feelings of guilt about cannabis use can weigh heavily, even when you do not show them openly. Guilt alone rarely brings about change, because it often circles around the past. What helps is separating guilt from responsibility. Responsibility means changing something today. This article shows how you can practise this in everyday life and where you can find help without reproach.
Where feelings of guilt come from
Feelings of guilt often arise when use collides with your own goals, obligations or relationships. You notice that you are doing something that harms yourself or others, and that weighs on you. Sometimes shame is added because you condemn yourself for the use. These feelings are understandable.
Separating guilt and responsibility
A helpful step is to ask two questions: What have I done? And what can I change today? The first question directs attention to facts. The second opens the way to concrete steps. Anyone who only asks the first question often stays stuck in brooding. Anyone who only asks the second may overlook what has happened. Both questions belong together.
A look at your own situation
Feelings of guilt do not count among the features of dependence. drugcom names criteria for this: at least two features must apply within twelve months. These include a strong craving for cannabis, the impression of no longer having your use under control, and continued use despite repeated social problems. drugcom offers the Cannabis-Check for this, which asks about periods from seven days to twelve months depending on the question. It does not replace a conversation. It does, however, give you a first indication. The article on habits in cannabis use explains how to classify individual habits.
What can help you
- Write down what burdens you, without judging it immediately.
- Find a person you trust and tell them what is going on.
- Note situations in which you feel guilty in your use diary. This shows what triggers the feelings.
- Give yourself time. Feelings of guilt do not disappear overnight, and that is no sign that you have failed.
When guilt leads to withdrawal
If feelings of guilt lead you to withdraw, sleep badly or constantly justify yourself, professional help makes sense. You can have a first conversation, for example, via the Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031 (daily from 8:00 to 24:00, charged). More ways to counselling are shown in the article on talking about your own use.
When children are affected
Parents often wonder whether they did something wrong when their child uses cannabis. The Elterntelefon (parents’ helpline) of Nummer gegen Kummer, on 0800 111 0 550, offers counselling for parents. If you use cannabis yourself and have children in the household, the ban on use in the immediate presence of minors applies (section 5(1) of the Cannabis Act (KCanG)). More on this is in the article on responsibility towards your environment.
Shame and silence
People who feel ashamed often do not talk about it. Then the support that would matter for a problem is missing. Silence can feel like protection, but it often increases the inner pressure. One small step can help: tell a person or a service what is troubling you. You do not have to tell everything. One sentence is enough to start.
Guilt in relationships
Feelings of guilt are often tied to relationships. When use strains friendships, family or a partnership, reproaches arise on both sides. According to the criteria for dependence, use despite repeated social problems counts as a feature. This gives you a pointer to where you can start, and it is no reason to devalue yourself.
Relapses and guilt
Change often does not run in a straight line. A relapse does not mean that everything was in vain. It shows that a pattern was stronger than the intention in that moment. Feelings of guilt after a relapse often make it harder to continue. It helps to note the relapse, ask what triggered it and set the next step. The article on dealing with failed attempts supports you with this.
What a conversation with professionals brings
In a conversation with a professional, the focus is on your situation and on the next steps. You do not have to justify yourself to get support. The professional can clarify with you whether use is problematic, which goals are realistic and which services near you suit you. A first orientation is also given by the Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031.
What you can do now
- Write down what burdens you and which steps you can take today.
- Tell a trusted person about it.
- If needed, call the Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031.
- Find an addiction counselling service near you.
All prevention topics are listed under Prevention and youth protection.
Frequently asked questions
How do I deal with feelings of guilt about my cannabis use?
Separate guilt and responsibility. Guilt looks back at what happened, while responsibility looks at what you can do today. Write down what burdens you and talk to a trusted person. If the strain lasts, a counselling service helps, for example the Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031.
Am I dependent if I feel guilty about my use?
Feelings of guilt are not among the features that drugcom names for dependence. What matters is whether at least two features apply within twelve months, such as strong cravings, loss of control or continued use despite social problems. The Cannabis-Check from drugcom gives you a first indication.
Where can I talk about my use without hearing reproaches?
An addiction counselling service is the place where support is the focus. You can find one through a search for counselling services near you. The Sucht & Drogen Hotline on 01806 313031 helps with a first orientation.